What to Expect in Therapy: A Guide for First-Timers

For Us, By Us

Let’s go ahead and say it—therapy can feel like a mystery if you’ve never done it before. For many Black folks, therapy wasn’t something we grew up seeing or talking about. Maybe it was brushed off with “Just pray about it,” or “What happens in this house, stays in this house.”

But guess what? You can love God and talk to a therapist. You can be strong and still need support. Therapy is not weakness. It’s actually one of the realest forms of self-care.

Here’s what to expect when you decide to take that step.

1. Therapy Is a Conversation, Not an Interrogation

It’s not like TV where you’re lying on a couch being judged. You’ll be talking to someone who’s trained to help you process your thoughts, feelings, and patterns—without making you feel crazy. You set the pace. You don’t have to spill it all on day one.

2. Your Therapist Ain’t There to Fix You

They’re not gonna tell you what to do or give you all the answers. Their job is to help you make sense of things, ask the right questions, and teach you tools to navigate life. You’re still in control of your own healing journey.

3. The First Session is About Getting to Know You

Don’t be surprised if the first session feels more like an interview. They’ll ask about your background, what brought you to therapy, and what you want to work on. You don’t have to have it all figured out. “I just know I’m not okay” is a perfectly fine reason to start.

4. You Can Be Real

Therapy should feel like a safe space where you don’t have to code-switch, shrink yourself, or explain your Blackness. If your therapist makes you feel judged, misunderstood, or unseen—you have the right to switch. This is your time. You deserve to feel comfortable and respected.

5. You Might Feel Uncomfortable—and That’s Okay

Healing isn’t always pretty. You might talk about things you’ve been avoiding. You might leave some sessions feeling lighter, and others feeling drained. That’s part of the work. Growth comes with a little discomfort.

6. It’s Not Just Venting—It’s Progress

Yes, it’s a space to talk—but it’s also about learning skills, breaking patterns, and doing work outside the session. You may get journal prompts, affirmations, or things to reflect on between appointments. It’s not just about surviving, it’s about evolving.

7. Your Privacy is Protected

Therapists are legally and ethically required to keep your information private. What you say in session stays in session—unless you’re at risk of hurting yourself or someone else. Other than that, your business is your business.

8. It’s Okay to Take Up Space

You don’t need to justify your pain, water it down, or compare it to someone else’s struggle. If it hurts you, it matters. Period. Therapy gives you space to unpack things you’ve been carrying for years—sometimes stuff you didn’t even realize was heavy.

Final Word

Starting therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re choosing to show up for yourself in a deeper way. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to not know where to start. What matters is that you’re starting.

Therapy isn’t just for when everything’s falling apart. It’s for when you’re ready to heal, grow, and stop repeating cycles. You deserve that.

Signed,

Still tired. Still trying....

Your favorite tired therapist

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